Author: Maidelyn F'Koff
Maidelyn's guide to cursing
Had a bad day? Don't worry! I'll teach you how to swear in any situation you may find yourself in!
Use flaming and bloody as often as you like, interspersed with any selection from the curses below. Don't confine yourself to the exact way the curses are written here, substitute fool for idiot, trolloc-loving for pig-kissing, wool-headed for goat-brained and you'll have an endless supply of curses!
Here are a few examples of how to curse appropriately to the situation :
Spilled your drink in the tavern - Burn me!
Someone else made you spill your drink in the tavern - Light burn you!
Someone else made you spill your drink on your favourite outfit - You goat-kissing idiot!
Someone else made you spill your drink on yourself in front of the Aes Sedai you were trying to impress - You flaming shadow-loving,blood-be-damned trolloc-kissing cretin!
A few curses to be going on with....
Shai'tan take you
Burn me/you/your eyes/hearts etc
Light blind you
Light consume you
Light burn you
Blood and bloody ashes
White-livered son of a goat
Shadow take you/your soul
Burn your soul for a craven heart
Burn my bones to ash
Lump-eared sack of coal
Curses for a specific person/race
Gawyn- Bloody ox of a thimble-brained man
Perrin - Anvil-headed blacksmith
Rand - Wool-headed shepherd / wooden-headed numbskull
Mat - Young oakum picker
Sea folk - Daughter/son of the sands, bilge stone, fish-loving scavenger,
Berelain - Lightskirt, twitchskirt
Curses used by.....
Birgitte - Mother's milk in a cup
Sea folk - Cringing sandlappers
Forsaken - Bajad drovja, Kjasic flyspeck city
Anyone who doesn't like Rand - Dragon-taken, Dragon-possesses
Darkfriends - Light-blinded fool
Now Mat has used too many curses to be listed here but I think the best is - Sheep swallop and bloody buttered onions
My favourite quotes
Mat - "Blood and ashes! Does it have to be that flaming way every flaming time? It was just a bloody itch!"
Uno - "Burn me for a sheep-gutted farmer, but she's flaming well brave enough for a bloody queen!"
Mat - "If the pig-kissing bowl is in the Rahad, how am I supposed to find it on this flaming side of the river?"
Harnan - "...don't care what the flaming fishseller said, you goat-spawned toad, you use your bloody club and don't go accepting flaming challenges just because-"
Mat - "Bloody fool, bloody city, and bloody ta'veran.....bloody everything!"
Mat - Hold your tongue about Aes Sedai, you flaming penny-grubber, or I'll peel you and stuff a whitecloak down your bleeding gullet!"
Mat - "Unhand me you white-livered sons of goats!...Burn your eyes! The shadow take your souls, loose me! I will have your guts for a saddle girth!"